


Dinner For Two

by roelliej



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Magic, Blind Date, Community: ron_draco_fest, Dating Agency, Fluff, HP: EWE, Humor, M/M, Mild Language, Muggle Technology
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-23 09:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,530
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9650084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/roelliej/pseuds/roelliej
Summary: Minister for Magic Hermione Granger secretly runs a matchmaking agency. When she notices her former husband as one of the candidates, her jealousy takes over...





	

“Minister, are you free?” Susan Bones asked a bit nervous, as she stepped into the office of the Minister for Magic. Hermione Granger looked up from her paperwork and waved her hand, giving Susan permission to approach.

“What can I do for you, Susan?” Hermione said in a friendly tone, putting the papers aside, and sipping from her cup of tea. “You look a bit tense, dear.”

“We have several new candidates for our... eh... ”

“Not so loud!” Hermione hissed as she hastily locked the door with a wave of her wand. “If anyone finds out about our... eh... _associated activities_ , I will be forced to step down.”

“Why do you do it then, Minister?” Susan asked curiously, taking a seat across from Hermione. “It’s not about money, is it?”

“Of course not,” Hermione said, a bit taken aback by Susan’s rather personal question. “My ex-husband and I made a good arrangement, so don’t you worry about me, dear. No, I like bringing people together. Love can be such a wonderful thing.”

“Yes, it can be,” Susan said, flushing a bit. She took some folded papers out of her pocket and gave them to Hermione. “I have to warn you, Minister. You’re not going to like this.”

“What do you mean?” Hermione said as several names passed her eye. “They’re all handsome blokes and... ” Hermione’s eyes started to flame like Fiendfyre as she saw a picture of a man who, until recently, was known as her spouse.

“I see,” she whispered, her voice hoarse and wheezy. “And Mr Weasley is into men these days?—Well, well. He has seen the light, so to speak.”

“Minister, are you all right?”

“Couldn’t be better, Susan,” Hermione said softly. “Let’s find a date for Ronald, shall we?”

Susan swallowed audibly.

~*~

“I’m sorry I’m late,” a man with curly blond hair said, shaking Ron’s hand. “My boss is such a demanding prick. Terry Jenkins.”

“Know the type,” Ron said hesitantly. Terry didn’t quite look like the picture that the agency had sent to him. “Ron Weasley. Nice to meet you, Terry.”

“Strange name,” Terry said as he took a sip from a glass of water. “Foreign?”

“It’s a normal English name,” Ron said curtly. There was something in the other man’s tone that Ron didn’t like. He reminded Ron of someone from the past. “Shall we order?”

“Water is fine for me,” Terry said. “I have an appointment in fifteen minutes.”

_“Yeah, with his wife.”_

Ron looked up and saw Draco Malfoy walking towards them.

“And who are you, if I may ask?” Terry snapped haughtily.

“Is it true?” Ron said sharply, turning his attention to Terry. “Is this man speaking the truth?”

“Well—she’s still my wife,” Terry stuttered, refusing to look Ron in the eye. “But I’m planning to file for a divorce.”

“Good luck with that,” Ron said, feeling disgusted. “Now, would you be so kind to fuck off?”

“Rude,” Terry brought out, before getting up in a huff, and taking his leave.

“Fucking hell, what an arsehole!” Ron hissed through gritted teeth. “Speaking of arseholes, what are you doing here, Malfoy?”

“Is that the gratitude I get for saving your neck?” Draco said, visibly offended. “Ungrateful git.”

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Ron said grumpily. “It’s that man... I was caught off-guard, is all.”

“Apology accepted, Weasley,” Malfoy said, smiling. “And to answer your question, I have an appointment.”

“Well, don’t let me hold you up,” Ron said, as he stood up to get his jacket. “I’m going home and probably getting inhumanly drunk.”

“I still have time for one drink,” Draco said. “Fancy a pint?”

“All right,” Ron said. “But I’m paying. For saving me from total disaster.” The redhead smiled sheepishly as his eyes locked with Malfoy’s. Ron hated himself for blushing like a schoolgirl.

“Deal,” Malfoy replied with a smirk.

~*~

“So, are you finished with your dessert?”

Ron looked up from his full plate of chocolate cake. His date, James something, was staring at him rather intensely. He was handsome—Ron liked his dark hair and blue eyes—but the man really could use a shave. “Clearly not, James.”

“Oh, okay,” James said, looking around rather nervously. “Okay.”

“Something’s wrong?” Ron asked. James’s behaviour made Ron feel uncomfortable. “You can tell me.”

“I... eh... have an itch,” James said, fidgeting with his tie. “It needs to be scratched.”

Ron put down his fork and coughed away his piece of cake. “I beg your pardon?”

“My flat is two blocks from here.”

“Wait a minute,” Ron said sharply. “What about me indicates that I’m such a cheat date?” Ron couldn’t believe his luck. A different date, a different bloke, but the same disappointment.

“It stated on the card that Love Unlimited sent to me. You were into hardcore hanky panky on the first date.”

_“He’s not and Weasley is certainly not a Crystal queen like you!”_

“Who are _you?_ ” James said, panic visible in his eyes. “Mind your own business!”

“Go have a wank, junky!” Draco snapped. “This date is over!”

“You don’t make that decision, _Billy Idol_!” James spat, standing up to confront Draco.

“Yes. I. Do.” Draco said sternly, almost nose to nose with Ron’s date. “Now piss off, before I injure that worn-out face of yours.”

“Are you serious, that man’s an addict?” Ron asked, as he saw James leaving with his tail between his legs. Draco nodded. For some reason, Ron easily believed him.

“That’s the second time that you saved my arse, Malfoy,” Ron said softly. “How did you know, though?”

“He’s the son of a client of mine,” Draco said, running a hand through his hair. “Sad story, but no matter. You should file a complaint to that horrible matchmaking agency. This is outrageous.”

“I’ll give them one more chance.”

Draco sighed irritably. “A pint to ease the pain?”

“That would be nice, Malfoy.”

~*~

“Another glass of wine, sir?” the waiter said in a friendly tone.

“Why not?” Ron sighed, the alcohol already started to affect him. “I don’t think my date will show up.”

Ron put the glass to his lips, but before he could drink, his eyes travelled to the door again. Malfoy stepped inside, looking absolutely faultless. His long hair was slicked back and his black suit emphasised his body in all the right ways.

“There’s no one you can save me from tonight, Malfoy,” Ron said thickly, as Draco walked to his table. “My date has dumped me even more meeting me. That must be a record.”

“Stop feeling sorry for yourself, Weasley,” Draco said, taking a seat opposite Ron. “I got stuck in traffic.”

“You have a car?” Ron brought out, completely stunned with surprise. “ _You_?”

“Yes, I,” Draco said a bit irritated. “It’s never too late to blend in, isn’t it?”

“Hold on,” Ron said, the truth hitting him with the force of a wrecking ball. “You have a date with _me_?”

Draco sighed audibly as he rolled his eyes.

“But that’s impossible,” Ron mumbled. “I have a date with Jerry.”

“I was so kind to cancel that date for you,” Draco said subtly. “It would have saved both of us the trouble.”

“I don’t understand.”

“For fuck’s sake, Weasley!” Draco snapped, taking Ron’s hand into his. “Are you _that_ thick? Why do you think I showed up every time to save you from those cretins?”

“I... Yeah, why _did_ you?”

“I—You should ask the Head Auror,” Draco said stiffly, blushing.

“The _Head Auror?_ ” Ron said, a suspicious undertone audible in his voice. “And why should I...?”

“Will you shut up, Weasley? Stop distracting me!” Draco said nervously. “I like you, okay?” he added in a whisper as he noticed several waiters and customers staring at them. “I like you a lot.”

Ron blushed furiously as Draco softly caressed his hand, his second thoughts completely forgotten. “I’m a bit slow, eh?”

“Yes, you are,” Draco said, with an exceptionally flirty tone. It made Ron’s heart beat just a bit faster. “Now, would you be so kind to follow me to my car? I’ve prepared a rather exquisite dinner for two at the manor.”

“I’d love to,” Ron said, still flushed.

~*~

“WHAT DO YOU MEAN, RON LEFT THE RESTAURANT WITH DRACO MALFOY?!”

Susan sprinted out of the Minister´s office, wiping a bit of sweat from her forehead with her hand. She still felt her heart bouncing in her throat as she walked outside of the Ministry of Magic, dying for some fresh air.

She took a mobile phone from her purse and dialled a number.

_“Hello?”_

“It’s Susan.”

_“And...?”_

“Draco and Ron went to Malfoy Manor together. Draco had to use all of his seduction techniques, though.”

_”Ron isn’t the man for subtlety. That’s why he and Draco are made for each other. Our plan worked, Susan!”_

“I’m happy for them, don’t get me wrong, but what about me?” Susan hissed softly. “If Ms Granger ever finds out that I was involved in this... ”

_”She won’t. I promise. I owe you one, Susan.”_

“You owe me big time, Harry Potter,” Susan said. “I expect a lavish dinner, Mr Head Auror.” _That, and a damn, good shafting._

**Author's Note:**

> This is part of an ongoing fest. You can comment here or on [LIVEJOURNAL](http://ron-draco-fest.livejournal.com/29310.html) for the author to see.


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